Friday, September 17, 2004

Think Pink

Generally, I feel young. At 29, why wouldn’t I? But, I’ve recently been exhibiting one of the first signs of old age: observing the younger generations with a detached annoyance and befuddlement.

Now, I’ve made my peace with the revival of 80’s fashions. It’s an uneasy truce, kind of like the one that keeps Whitney and Bobby married, but it is a necessary one. Since, I can’t will trends in and out of vogue, I’m forced to wait for our ADHD society to light upon a new fashion fixation and pray it’s not something I’ll hate even more.

Don’t get me wrong. I loved the 80’s. I even loved “I Love The 80’s.” I thank God nearly everyday that I was alive and cognizant to enjoy the 80’s. The movies, the music, the memories are timeless. 80’s fashions, however, are a different story. Like the newly redefined and reclaimed ‘n-word’, they’re only inoffensive in context.

The topic of this particular rant is actually a sub-component of this trend. I am completely at a loss in comprehending why this 80’s revival has spawned the bastard child that is guys in pink Izods with popped collars. Now, I don’t know if this is a nationwide epidemic or just a local problem. But, at least in the DC Metropolitan Area young guys have taken to wearing pink Izod polos with the collars flipped up. For the love of all that is decent, WHY?!

When I saw the first couple of guys sporting the look, I just figured they were gay. Because, let’s face it, it’s not the most masculine look. After seeing the fifth, though, (and seeing a couple of the suspects with girlfriends or really, really convincing beards) I sensed deeper, darker forces at work. Clearly, the folks at Lacoste sold controlling interest to Satan, or something. Because, Lord knows, this side of the Hamptons and the local thrift store, nobody’s been rockin’ Izods since Member’s Only jackets went out.

Oh well, I’ll just have to sit back and wait for the sky to crack, because clearly Jesus is coming soon.