Wednesday, August 09, 2006

Adeste Fideles

It’s been all about trust for me, lately. Every verse, every piece of advice has boiled down to "Trust in the Lord with all thine heart, and lean not to thine own understanding."

Trust is a tall order for me. My prayers are constantly some variant of "Lord, I trust you, but help my distrust."

I know what he’s done for me, but the situations in my life start looking bigger and bigger as I look at them through the magnifying glass of my reason and my ability. And, so often that’s the only perspective I can muster.

I know he hasn’t changed and I know he’s still just as infinitely able as he’s always been. My question is never can he do it this time; it’s will he do it this time. I end up like the disciples who, after watching Jesus feed five thousand with two fish and five loaves of bread just a short while before, were beside themselves wondering how they could ever feed four thousand with only a few fish and seven loaves of bread.

Trust. I am learning to trust. It’s a slow process, but I’m on the road. I believe that, in the past, when he fed me, when he clothed me, when he healed me, when he delivered me, when he saved me, when he died on the cross for me, he was just putting into action the love that was in his heart for me.

My new challenge is believing that his love for me doesn’t change. It is understanding that I didn’t earn any of those things with my actions or some inherent worth. So, when I doubt he’ll come through for me because I’m not feeling that I or my actions are particularly worthy of his love, I can remember that none of that matters. All that matters is that he loves me and that will never change.

Joyce Meyer said, "An important part of Jesus’ nature is His emotional maturity, which includes unchanging stability."


Post a Comment

<< Home