Saturday, February 03, 2007

Day Five

The day I feared has arrived. I don't have an answered prayer to report. I'm sure something happened, but I can't think of anything. It was a good day, just the same. I had a hard time focusing with lots going on in my head, but it all worked out.

Which reminds me, I'm grateful for good friends. I had what could have been a tough conversation with my best friend, but he made it easy. Always coming through in the clutch, that guy. One of these days, I won't be surprised when that happens. I'll expect it.

That, I guess, is my prayer for tonight: that I find a way to trust the goodness that I see in the people closest to me. I don't have any trouble seeing good in people. It does get harder as people get closer to me for me to trust that. It's like my trust and discernment are far-sighted.

Maybe it's my defensiveness. I've let these people in and now I'm on guard, looking for their one false move that will end in my being hurt. So, I see the good which is always in front of me, but my focus is on the bad. Just in case.

That is dead. There's no life in that and I want it gone.

So, Lord, free me to trust without guardrails and defenses all of the people you've invited into the depths of my life. I'll get hurt, but so what? It won't be the first time and it won't be the last. That's life. That's love.


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