Friday, February 24, 2006

Type-A Existentialism

I have a new homework assignment from God: being still. Well actually, that’s two homework assignments. First, being. Then, being still.

There’s been a lot of discussion tossed around lately, inside and outside of my head, about a “doing” focus or performance orientation. These discussions have hit home because I have a doing focus in a number of areas in my life. My relationships, including my relationship with God, is one of them. So, as I look at verses like Psalm 46:10 – “Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.” – I think, I can do that. I look at my schedule and mark out a block of time. What usually happens is I sit and I spend the majority of the appointed period thinking about how to (in the words of a friend) do stillness. Then because I am the King of All Things Tangential, I get distracted and have to work my way from wherever the tangent led back to my place of stillness.

Apparently, when God said “BE still” he actually meant “be” and not “do.” Who knew? So, now I’m stuck. Me and Being are not really acquainted, which makes being anything tough. Add to that my doing problem and being still looks a little like trying to feed a camel through the eye of a needle. As Jesus said after using the same analogy in Mark 10, “There are some things that people cannot do, but God can do anything.” I’m not sure how he’s going to do it, but I know he will. Until then, I’ll be here. Or at least I’ll do here.


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