Day Thirty-Six

Yesterday. What to say? I learned a lot about myself and my friends.

I bought a bike this weekend and yesterday was my first ride. It's been a while since I've ridden and my first attempt was a somewhat hilly, eight-mile stretch...in the freezing cold...with no gloves...and a malfunctioning seat...with a Nazi for a riding coach. It turned out to be a good challenge. I was especially grateful for the Nazi. I quit a few times on some of the later hills. My legs just would not do it. So I just stopped. The Nazi yelled and pushed and pulled and got me through it. And, in the end, I did it.

This experience reminded me that I can't do it alone. It was the life-application portion of a sermon God had just preached to me a few days earlier. In my quest for self-sufficience, I wanted to believe that when things got tough or when I needed a push, I could find the coaching and the mentoring within myself. I wanted to believe that I could be my own accountability partner, but I can't. Apparently, it is not good for man to be alone. I think it was Shakespeare who said that.

But I could be wrong.

I am grateful for the strength and frailty of my friends, even when it puts me in awkward positions. It makes them human. Just like me, sometimes.

A prayer I saw answered was for my bike. I bought it off Craig's List. It was originally promised to someone else, but I really wanted that particular bike and was in a Joel Olsteen sort of mood, so I prayed that it would be mine anyway. On Thursday, I prayed that I would get an e-mail at work about the bike. I waited all day at work and the e-mail never came. But, as I was packing up to go to Living Waters, the phone rang. It was the seller calling to say that the other buyer hadn't shown up so if I wanted the bike it was mine. Bless my Father, the Living God, who cares about even the frivolity in my life.

I pray today I can find a good suit at the sale at Filene's. What can I say? I need a suit. I also want world peace. That is, peace within the internal worlds of my friends. Peace in their minds, peace in their bodies, peace in their spirits, and peace in their relationships. It's a selfish prayer. Frankly, I'm tired of all of the whining. And, I'm tired of my heart breaking every time I see the pain in their eyes and hear it in their voices.

I want so badly to play God. I want his power and control. But I can't imagine how much that intensity of love must cost him. Well, I guess I do have an idea.