Playing Poker

Yesterday was a very good night. My quiz went well, I thought. Of course, I thought the other quiz went well, and it sort of didn't. In the hour between my quiz and the group therapy session, I went shopping in Old Town. Got some great stuff. I may be becoming a shop-a-holic. Perhaps I should slow way down and only buy what I need. Although, I'm not in the habit of willy-nilly buying. I'm buying things I need.

After shopping we had our final full session. Ridiculously awesome. Unlike last time, I started off talking about myself and the overwhelming neediness I've been feeling lately. Through the discussion and some side coversations with God, a couple of friends and Malcolm Smith, I came to a conclusion: I'm needy because I'm safe.

Through my experience with Living Waters and Alpha, and the friendships I found last year, my extroversion and my need for relationship appeared seemingly out of nowhere. I discovered that not only was it not good for "man" to be alone, it was also not good for this man to be alone. What I've been feeling lately has been a much (MUCH!) magnified version of those feelings.

The conclusion that I came to is that now I'm in a place, emotionally and relationally, where I can get those intense needs met. I have both the strength and good courage to say "I need" and the friends who can say "I'll see your need and raise you a meeting of that need." I believe that God finally allowed this need to be awakened now because these provisions were finally in place for the need to be met. In this time, he's just been daring me to use them. I accept his challenge.

All in.